What If
by PurpleLover92
Summary: What would have happened if Spencer went to Worthington instead of UCLA.
1. Chapter 1

**This is my new story. I've wanted to write ever since I've finished my last story, but I didn't have any ideas. I finally came up with this one and I hope you all enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own an part of South of Nowhere or the characters of SON. **

Checking my watch again for the fifth time in the past twenty minutes, I realize that we might not be able to get any filming done today. It's nearly six and the sun is going to be setting soon. And that's a problem because the scene we have to shoot requires a day light setting.

"Do you think we should start packing up?" Tom, the head of the tech crew, asks through the walkie talkie.

I sigh and look up at the sky again. It's dark, grey, and cloudy. It has been raining nonstop for the past three hours. It has been raining like this for the past few days which means that we are now way behind schedule for this episode. This is the price we pay for shooting a television series in Miami during hurricane season.

Florida's weather is really unpredictable, so it could stop raining any minute now. However, looking around at all the cast and crew, I notice that everyone is tired and ready to give up for the day.

"Yea tell everyone to pack up and we will try again tomorrow." I say back into the walkie talkie.

Almost everyone breathes a sigh of relief. I hate keeping them here when we aren't doing anything but we have episodes to shoot for the company and if we don't we'll all be out of jobs.

"Alright everyone, get out of here. I'll see you all tomorrow at nine." I yell out to the large group and many groans follow. We work long days and depending on the scenes we need to shoot, and the time we arrive varies. Many of our night scenes are shot after twelve am.

An hour later, I finally make it off set and into my car. After a good fifteen minute drive, I finally make it to my house. Pulling up to my house, I smile as I see her car in the driveway. Just as I put my car in park, the rain starts pelting down. Oh great!

Grabbing my bag, I make a dash for the house. Of course she would lock the door today of all days. I quickly unlock the door as I feel the rain pick up against my back. I'm sure I look like a wet dog as I shake out my damp wet hair when I step inside from the rain.

"Need a towel, Lassie?" I look up and see her standing a few feet away from me holding a dry towel in my direction.

"Ha ha very funny" is my reply after I snatch the towel away from her. "Bitch" I add as I walk upstairs towards my bedroom.

"No need to be all crabby, it's only a little rain." I can just hear the smirk in voice.

"Says the one that's completely dry" cue my eye roll.

"You live in Florida; you should always be prepared for rain at any time. Have you learned nothing over the past five years?" She's right, there's no argument there.

"It would help if the weather man was right for once."

"It would help if you actually watched the news. There was an eighty percent chance of rain today." I can practically hear her eyes rolling.

As soon as I reach my room, I walk right in without bothering to close the door because I know that she's following right behind me. I begin stripping the second I walk into my closet.

"Eww no one wants to see all of that. Put your clothes back on." This is said as she makes herself comfortable on my bed.

"Um excuse me, you're in my room. And besides it's nothing you haven't seen before."

She mumbles something that I don't exactly catch so I just go about my business and finish changing. After I put some dry and warm clothes on, I go downstairs in search of some dinner.

"Oh yea here's your mail." She says interrupting my refrigerator rummaging. I grunt not really in the mood to look at my bills at the moment. My stomach is already yelling because I have been neglecting it for the past few hours.

"I'll look at it later. Are there any leftovers from last night?" I ask as my eyes continue to scan the contents of the fridge.

"Yes they're in the container on the bottom right shelf." Following her directions, I locate the goodies. "But you might want to look at this one, it's kind of important." That's odd.

I place the food on the counter and tentatively grab the envelope she was holding out to me. The sender's address is one I'm not familiar with and there is no name to accompany it. I open the envelope and take the card out that is inside.

_You are cordially invited to attend the wedding of Ms. Davies and Ms. Duarte. _

That's all I could read before the invitation falls from my hand and on to the floor.

"Spence?" I don't even know what to say or even think. "Spencer are you okay?" I feel her touch my arm.

I watch as Emily picks up the invitation and I can't help the memories that start pouring down on me.

_**Flashback**_

"_Everything is changing so fast I just want at least one thing to stay the same. I don't want us to change." I can tell that she's been thinking about this a lot. Ashley isn't the type to always say how she's feeling, sometimes you have to give her time._

"_Yea but everyone changes Ash."_

"_I'm trying to make a commitment here and you won't even commit to sticking around." I feel like everyone wants me to do something right now and I just need some time to breathe._

"_That's not commitment that's pressure that I just don't need right now."_

"_You just want to talk about the future that I'm not a part of." I can't believe she would think that. I love her more than anything._

"_Of course you're a part of my future, Ashley. But right now the present is really freaking me out and I just need you to be here with me." I take a deep breath and search her eyes. "Can you do that please?"_

_She agreed, reluctantly. And slowly she stopped asking me about my future plans and began to just let us be as happy as we were before. She even began to focus more on her music with Madison and I couldn't be more proud. _

_I could see the true happiness in her whenever she spoke about her music. I loved watching her perform because it was always so intense and she drew me in every time. _

_Which is why I made the decision I made. I wanted her to be successful in her music career and I hoped that she would want the same for me. So the night of the graduation party, I decided to tell her my decision. _

_She pulled me into the room at one point throughout the party and said that she needed to talk to me in private. I told her that I needed to tell her something as well._

"_Before you start let me just say what I have to say and then you can go." This is not exactly what I had planned but okay. I nod for her to continue and she does. "I wanted to apologize for wigging out on you." _

"_I totally overreacted." I interrupt her. _

"_Just listen to what I have to say." She says and I nod. "I apologize all the time and I never do it right. I want to apologize for trying to hold you back when there's an entire world out there who wants to know who you are. Or pressuring you about the future when I'm the one who's scared. And for your graduation gift being late just like every other gift I've give you." We laugh. "But I want to give you this." She reaches on her night stand behind her and opens a small box. I look inside and gasp with a smile on my face. _

"_Spashley?" I ask as I look at the key ring she has given me._

"_I know it's really cheesy but do you remember the first time that you realized you were gay?"_

_I nod and respond. "At the beach, how could I forget that?"_

"_Well even though we didn't kiss or do anything, I've always considered that our first date because ever since then I haven't been able to get you off my mind." I smile adoringly at her. I have the sweetest girlfriend ever. _

"_Thank you, I love it." I say as I take out the whole key._

"_It's to the loft." I look at her in shock. "I know that you don't know where you're going yet but I do know that I need you and I hope that you need me too. And whenever you go wherever it is that you are going, I hope that with the time that you still have here that you'll spend every last minute with me."_

_And that's what I did. I spent every last minute with her, right before I got on the airplane to fly to Boston so that I could attend Worthington. _

_**End Flashback**_

Thinking about it now, if I would have just stayed and gone to UCLA, It would be me marrying Ashley, not Madison.

**Should I continue or no? Please let me know.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I know you all are probably thinking "finally she updated!" I know it has taken me a long time but I've been a bit busy and I've had some writer's block for a while. But anywho, enjoy!**

"Spencer!" Emily practically screams in my ear.

"What...huh?" I'm sure I have a dazed look in my eyes at the moment.

"What just happened? Why did you just space out like that?"

Shaking my head to get rid of all the memories, I look at the invitation again.

"I just…that's a…" The words won't even come out.

"Take a deep breath or two, then explain." Emily soothingly rubs my back.

One. Two. Three.

"She's getting married." Is all that comes out of my mouth.

"Who's she?"

"Ashley!" I slam my fists on the table and start pacing around the kitchen. "Ashley is getting married! Can you believe that? She's getting married." Emily opens her mouth to say something but I'm on a roll so I just keep going. "She's fucking getting married! And to Madison of all people!"

"Spencer please, just try to calm down."

"Calm down?" I stop pacing and look at her incredulously. "You want me to calm down when I just found out that the love of my life is going to marry the girl that gave us hell in high school for being gay?!" My fists hit the cabinet this time. "And you want me to calm down? You have got to be fucking kidding me!"

Emily walks over to me and puts her hands on my shoulders. "Yes I would like you to calm down." Why? "You need to calm down because you don't know what has happened over the years. You haven't seen or spoken to either one of them in about what, seven years? Maybe Madison has changed." She answers, reading my mind.

She's right. People change. It's been a long time since I've had a decent conversation with Ashley or Madison.

"But how I feel about Ashley hasn't changed." That nearly comes out as a whisper.

"Then what happened between you two? You have told me all these stories about how happy you were with her. And the smile that you get when you talk about her or look at old pictures or whenever you hear the name Ashley, outshines any other smile I've ever seen you put on." Emily smiles softly at me. "So if you're still so in love with her, please tell me what happened?"

Deep breaths. I take a seat at the kitchen table and begin.

"The summer before I started college, I had to choose which college I wanted to go to, Worthington or UCLA…"

_**Flashback**_

"_So that's the last box, it actually feels like I live here now." I say as I finish putting my books away. _

"_Spence you've been living here for four weeks." Ashley says from the bed. She's on her laptop going over some lyrics Madison sent her which means she has her black-rimmed glasses on, or as I like to call them, her fuck me glasses. I mean have you seen Ashley in those glasses. I have to cross my le-_

"Really Spencer?" Emily interrupts. That bitch, ruining my Ashley fantasies and shit. "Get back to the story."

"Anyway as I was saying…"

"_I know I've been here for four weeks but now that the last box is unpacked it feels more real." I take a seat on the bed next to her. _

"_Well having you here when I wake up and come home has made it feel more real to me. I love that you're here." Her attention averts from the laptop to me just before she leans in to kiss me._

_I didn't even get the chance to get into the kiss because she pulled away when her phone went off. _

"_It's Madison. She's probably downstairs." Ashley hops out of the bed and runs around the room looking for clothes while I sit on the bed drowning in my horniness. "We really need to do laundry soon." Her voice floats from the closet. "Do you think she'll mind if I just wear this?" Ashley points down at the clothes she's been wearing, the clothes that have put me in my current mood: boxers and barely there tank top. "Spencer?"_

"_Uh what?" I drag my eyes along her body up to her eyes. She shakes her head and tries to hide a smirk._

"_I said do you think she'll mind if I wear this?" Since when does Ashley care what Madison thinks about what she wears? _

"_Why does it matter?" I ask curiously._

"_Because I-" The doorbell interrupts her. She races out of the room and before the pout can fully form on my lips she comes back and plants a nice kiss on them. "I love you."_

_A grin takes over my face. "I love you too."_

_I curled up with a book and she didn't come back until hours after I had already been asleep. _

_Over the next month I did more researching on Worthington and UCLA because I felt like my future career depended on which college I chose. I also had to factor in Ashley. I loved Ashley and I don't want to picture my life without her. _

_The bad thing about that was that every time I tried to talk to her about it, she would disappear or she would fall asleep. Ashley's late night working sessions with Madison made her sleep all day, so I barely had time with her even though we were living together. _

_I hate to say something I thought I never would, but I was jealous of Madison. She was able to enjoy spending time with a fully awake and lively Ashley and I had to find time to talk to her when she was awake. _

_Over that month I got closer to Kyla. While Ashley slept, I would get bored so I spent a lot of time watching TV in the living room. And since Kyla was our roommate, she would join me. We spent lots of hours in front of the TV and we would only leave when Madison came by to work with Ashley._

_This happened nearly every day for every week that I was there. Madison and Ashley were desperately trying to find gigs and working on new music and Kyla and I would watch TV, go for jogs, go to the movies, or whatever we thought would entertain us. It was starting to feel like I was dating Kyla because of all the time we spent together, but the little time that I did spend with Ashley reminded me why I was there in the first place. _

_Like the time she managed to get one day off and we spent almost the entire day at the beach, just the two of us. And when we came back she cooked dinner for us. It was really romantic and I nearly fell in love with her all over again._

_So the next day I could literally feel my heart break when I told her which college I was choosing to go to._

"_Hey Ash, do you have a minute?" I asked as I walked into the room. She was on her laptop probably writing some lyrics, or some other music related task. _

"_Yea, what's up?" She took her glasses off and moved her laptop to the side. I sat down on the bed next to her and took a deep breath._

"_So I finally decided on which school I wanted to go to." Pause. _

"_Oh that's great Spence! What's it going to be?" What I'm about to say is really going to ruin her mood._

"_I've chosen…"Gulp. "I'm going to Worthington."_

_The smile instantly drops from her face. _

"_Oh that's uh..." She clears her throat. "great. Will you excuse me; I have to go call Madison. I had to call her about that umm… thing." Before any other words could come out of mouth, she was out of the room._

"_Shit" I mutter to myself. "Ashley, wait!"_

"_No Spencer it's okay." I can see the tears welling up in her eyes. "I'm fine, really. I'm…I'm…" And the tears start pouring out one by one. I can feel my own tears beginning to form. _

"_Come on Ash." I reach for her hand and try to lead her back to the room._

"_No!" She snatches her hand away. "You don't get to try to console me after making me feel like you just ripped out my heart." She angrily wipes her tears away. "You told me I was your forever and now you are running halfway across the country away from me. How do you expect for us to last forever if we're not together?" _

_I wish this was so much easier. I wish everything could go as I had planned. I wish none of this was happening right now. _

"_Ashley, please I just need you to support me." I move closer to her and this time she doesn't move away from me. "I'm not trying to hurt you at all because honestly it's hurting me just as much." I use my thumbs to wipe some of her tears away. "And yes I still believe that you are not only my first but my forever. My moving across the country is only a temporary obstacle in our forever." A smile is formed on my lips as I try to placate her. _

"_But you'll be like a million miles away." She squeezes my hand. "I've been thinking about the possibility of you leaving all summer and it scared me because I'm so afraid that when you leave my whole world is going to fall apart."_

"_You sound like you're going to die or something." I manage a laugh._

_She snorts. "Well I'm not going to die, but I could lose an organ." _

"_What?" How does that even make sense?_

"_Like my heart." Um. She places my hand over her heart. "Do you feel that?" I nod. "My heart beats for you, as cheesy as it may sound. You have my heart and when you leave, it goes with you."_

_**End Flashback**_

"Aww she's so sweet." Emily gushes.

"Yea she was such a closet romantic, one of the many things I loved about her."

"So then why did you run across the country? What was so great about Worthington? Because so far UCLA has your family, Ashley, your home, a city you're familiar with, and I'm sure there's more on that list." Emily counts the list off on her fingers.

"Worthington offered me a full scholarship, an internship, and I just enjoyed more things about their film program. I spent my time over the summer doing research on both colleges and that one seemed to be the right fit for me." I think back to countless hours I spent on my laptop trying to find something about the film department at UCLA that would make me choose it over Worthington but I found nothing. "And I liked the idea of exploring a new place, becoming familiar with a new area, meeting someone new." I say with a slap to her arm.

"So going all the way to Boston had nothing to do with you feeling neglected because Ashley was focusing so much on her music?" Emily questions with a raised eyebrow.

"No, I was proud of her and I wanted her to do what she loved." I say with some confidence.

"Okay so you leave her, and take her heart with you, then what?" She's really excited about taking me back through memory lane.

"How about I tell you over dinner?" I say as I hop up out of my seat and grab my keys.

"Yay, story time!" Emily exclaims and I roll my eyes.

**Thoughts? Comments? Questions? I love reviews!**


	3. Chapter 3

**So here's an update. Enjoy!**

**Thank you Loops!**

"I'm thinking Italian, how does that sound?" Emily says once we get into the car.

"Sure that sounds great. I don't really care where we go as long as they serve alcohol."

Emily laughs, "why do you need alcohol, Spence?"

I sigh as I start pulling out of the driveway. "Because if I tell you this story, I'm going to need lots of alcohol to finish it."

Fifteen minutes later we pull into Bella. We get out of the car and I hand my keys over to the valet. As soon as we get in we are seated to a table in the dimly lit back corner.

Seconds later our waitress comes over to take our order. And might I say damn she's hot. She's about 5'4, dark skin, hazel eyes, and she wasn't oddly skinny like other servers. I look over at Emily and notice that she's practically drooling already.

"Hi my name is Tori and I'll be your server for tonight. Can I start you two off with some drinks?" She says brightly with a smile on her face that automatically caused me to smile.

"Hi, can I please have a Margarita and a water please?" I tell her and she writes my order down.

"And for you ma'am?" She looks over at Emily who has a dazed look in her eyes.

"Em!" I whisper loudly and hit her arm. She blinks a few times then turns to look at me.

"Uh what?" She stutters out.

Tori chuckles "what would you like to drink?"

"Oh yea…can I have a coke please?" Emily says with a sweet smile and I roll my eyes. She's going to be flirting the entire time we're here; she flirts with ALL hot girls.

"Great I'll be back with your drinks shortly." Tori turns and walks away and I know Emily is watching her as she leaves, who am I kidding, I'm watching too.

"Damn." Emily says in awe. "Do you think she'll give me her number?"

I shake my head at her. "And you wonder why we didn't work out."

She shrugs. "I can't help it if I happen to be popular with the ladies."

"Right, I'm not sure if popular is the correct term to use for you."

"Whatever. And we didn't work out for different reasons, one of which I'm starting to think involves a little Miss Davies."

Oh gosh, I was hoping that she would forget about that.

"It had nothing to do with Ashley!" I declare.

"Oh really?" She challenges.

"Yea." I cross my arms over my chest.

"Spence, let me ask you this," I nod my head for her to continue. "How many girlfriends have you had since you broke up with Ashley?"

I take a minute to think. "about three maybe four serious relationships."

"So in the past seven years, you've only had three maybe four relationships and the longest one lasted for what at the most five months?"

"I can't help it if those relationships didn't work out. Those girls just weren't what I was looking for." I add simply.

"Because you're looking for Ashley!" Emily exclaims.

I open my mouth to respond but nothing comes out so I close it. I do this for a few times so I'm sure my impersonation of Nemo is perfected now.

"Thank you for making my point." She sits back with sly grin on her face.

"Here are your drinks ladies." Tori says as she sets our drinks down on the table. "Are you ready to order now or do you need a few minutes to look over the menu?"

"I think we're ready to order, right Em?" I look over at Emily and over of course she is eyeing Tori again, but I expected it. But I'm guessing that she's at least half listening to what I am saying by her slow nod. "Okay great, so I'll have the Chicken Penne Pasta."

"Excellent choice. And for you ma'am?" Tori turns her attention to Emily.

"Well, Tori, what do you suggest?" And the flirting starts once again.

"Well my personal favorites are the Carbonara pasta and the Pasta Milano" Tori responds.

Emily looks for those items in the menu. "Hmm since I'm allergic to mushrooms and would rather not take a trip to the hospital tonight, I'll go with the Carbonara." She gives her a wink and hands her the menu.

Tori giggles "good idea. I'll be back with your dinners as soon as it's ready."

Cue Emily watching her walk away.

"I think she's into me." I roll my eyes.

"You think that about every girl you flirt with."

"Because they are." Emily responds like it's the most obvious thing in the world.

Most girls she flirts with are into her. And if I'm honest, I was attracted to her when I first met her. I think it has something to do with her exotic look. She has long flowing brown hair, a bronze skin tone, and a shy smile. It's something about her that always gets the girls.

"Right I'll let you think that." I take a sip of my drink.

"Anyway, enough about me, back to you and Ashley."

"Here we go again." I mutter under my breath.

"Yes and we're going to keep going until you tell me everything."

"Okay so where was I again?"

"You went to Boston, leaving Ashley heartbroken and sad."

I sigh. "Right so the day I left for Worthington was hard."

_**Flashback**_

_Today is the day. I will be going across the country for college leaving everything and everyone that I love behind. _

"_Spencer are you ready to go, Ashley will be here soon." My mother yelled from downstairs. _

_I did one last look over of my room. It was sort of bare. I still had some posters and pictures on the wall and my bed was made, but somehow it seemed lifeless and empty. I grabbed my large suitcase from my bed and walked out of the room. _

_I was thankful to have the rest of my things shipped to Worthington yesterday because there was no way I would be able travel with a bunch of suitcases and boxes. _

_I slowly make my way down the stairs and look at each and every picture on the wall. Most are of Glen, Clay, and I. I really miss Clay. It was too early for him to leave._

_When I finally get downstairs, I notice both of my parents are outside talking to Ashley. It's going to be hard saying goodbye to them._

_I already said goodbye to Glen last night because he had work today. We stayed up all night talking about old times and eating extra sweet goodies. I'm really going to miss him. _

_Glancing around the house one last time, I sigh and head out the door._

"_Oh Spencer, I'm going to miss you so much!" My mom says through tears and engulfs me into an overly tight hug which causes me to drop my bag. I see my dad smile and shake his head as he reaches for it and puts it in Ashley's car._

"_I'm going to miss you too mom. Remember you can come up for parents' weekend next month." I pat her back in a hopefully soothing pattern. She nods her face along my shoulder and I cringe at the wet tears that I feel being left on my shirt._

"_Paula you have to left Spencer go or she's going to miss her flight" thank you, dad. _

_She pulls back and gives me a teary-eyed smile. "Don't forget to call as soon as you land, and text me when get on the plan, and call once you get to campus, and-"_

"_Have a nice trip." My dad interrupts her and gives her a look. _

"_I will. I'll make sure to call as soon as I land." I hug them both one last time and then turn to Ashley._

"_Thanks for picking me up." I give her a smile and a hug; although I want to do more, this is appropriate for now._

"_Are you ready to go?" Ashley asks me when we pull away from each other._

"_Just about." She nods and gets into her car to start it up._

_Turning back to my parents, I see my dad consoling my mom as she cries onto his chest._

"_I love you." I say to them. "And I'm really going to miss both of you." _

_They step towards me and wrap their arms around me again. _

"_We love you too, sweetie." My dad manages to say even though I can hear his voice quiver with each word. My mom somehow forces out more tears and I'll take that as her goodbye._

_Soon enough, I'm in Ashley's car on my way to the airport. It's silent. I know we're both really distraught about my moving so far away. We spent the entire summer together, well as much of it as we could, so I decided to spend the last night in L.A. with my parents. _

_I look over at Ashley and she seems to be extra focused on the road today. I decide not say anything and make things worse than they already are. _

_When we get to the airport, Ashley parks in the parking garage and takes my bag out of the trunk._

"_So what gate is it?" That's the first thing she has said to me since we left my parents' house nearly an hour ago._

"_32" Is my reply. She gives a short nod and turns toward the building. I follow behind her silently. _

_After two trams and ten minutes of walking, we're almost at gate 32. Ashley still has not said anything to me._

_I can't take this anymore._

"_Ashley!" I have to yell because she's speed walking like she can't get away from me. When I call her name, she stops but doesn't immediately turn around. I walk up to her and stand directly in front of her. I notice that her eyes are watery and it looks like her tears are about to burst any second now. I wrap my arms around her and pull her aside to an empty gate. _

"_Why?" She whispers through tears. I just give her a confused look. "Why are you leaving? Why do you have to do this? Why are you tearing us apart?" And now the tears were freely flowing. _

"_Ashley I'm not doing this to tear us apart. I told you why I wanted to go to Worthington. You'll be able to come visit me whenever you like." I wipe some of her tears away. "We can Skype and talk on the phone whenever you want."_

_She shakes her head. "It's not the same and you know it."_

"_I'm not doing this to hurt you, Ash. This is just as hard for me. I still love you and the distance won't tear us apart. We'll still be Spashley." I force a smile._

_We spent the next half hour holding each other while we waited for my flight to be called. It was hard to let her go. We both had tears streaming down our faces. And when I finally let her go, my heart sank down into my stomach. I felt like throwing up. And that's the first thing I did once I got onto the plane. _

_I read a book on the plane so that my mind would be occupied otherwise I would have cried the entire way to Boston. I called my parents when I landed and Ashley right after. We talked up until I got to my dorm room. _

_I walk into my room and see my roommate on her bed playing on her laptop. I set my bag down on the floor._

"_Hey Ash, I just walked into my room. I'll call you back once I settle down."_

"_Okay. I hope you like your new roommate, but not too much. I love you."_

_I giggle. "I love you too, Ashley."_

_I hang up and put the phone in my pocket. _

"_Hey I'm Emily," My roommate says as she gets up off of her bed._

"_Nice to meet you, I'm Spencer." I shake her hand. I take a second to look at her and take in the fact that she's definitely attractive. I'm thankful that I have a girlfriend or else it would be hard living with her without wanting more._

"_Well Spencer it's nice to finally meet you. You're boxes were exciting and all but it's nice to have another human being around." She smiles at me. I look around and notice my boxes on my side of the room._

_I laugh with her. "Sorry about that. I came from L.A. and I didn't want to drive all the way here so I had it all shipped here."_

"_No worries, I'm just glad that you're here now."_

_We talked and got to know each other as I unpacked my things. It was nearly midnight by the time I was done. Emily was asleep and I was almost there but I haven't forgotten about Ashley._

"_Hey Spence, are you all settled in?"_

"_Yes, I just finished with everything. I'm exhausted." I say as I get comfortable on my bed._

"_At least you finished it today so you won't have much to do tomorrow."_

"_Yea I know, but I made plans with my roommate, Emily to go to some events on campus tomorrow."_

"_That's good, I'm glad you're getting along with your roommate so far." Ashley responds._

"_I know me too. I was worried that I wouldn't like her at all, but she's funny and nice."_

"_Aww Spence made her first college friend." She chuckles into the phone. I miss her already._

"_I miss you so much Ashley." I feel the tears in my eyes._

"_I miss you too, Spence. More than you know."_

_That's how most of my first few days would go. I would hang out with Emily during the day and talk to Ashley at night if she wasn't busy with Madison._

_Once classes started, things were a little different. It was hard to find time to talk to Ashley because of my class schedule, the time difference, and her busy music schedule. _

_We spent every minute together when I went home for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Spring break, it was like nothing had changed, but in reality they did a lot._

_But we stuck through it until I called to tell her that I wouldn't be coming home for summer break. _

"_Hey Ash I really need to talk to you about something, do you have a minute?" I say as soon as she answers the phone. There is a lot of noise in the background and I can hear Madison going off on someone in Spanish. _

"_Uh yea…one second…I'll be back Madison." I hear movement. "Okay what's up Spencer?" It feels like I'm wasting her time so I'm going to try to make this fast._

_It sucks though because I shouldn't feel like I'm wasting her time. We talk once or twice a week if I'm lucky. It sucks, but there's not much I can really do about it._

"_I uhh…" I swallow hard. I should just come out and say it, not beating around the bush. "I won't be coming home this summer." There I said it._

_It's silent. "What?" She finally answers._

"_I…my professor gave a few students the opportunity to go to Australia for the summer for a culture class. It's a great chance for me to get ahead in my program that I couldn't say no. Please don't be upset." I rush out. It's silent yet again. "Ash?"_

"_Yea I'm here." She pauses. "That's great, Spencer. I'm happy for you." She say's even though I can hear the tears in her voice. _

"_Ash please don't cry."_

"_How can you even say that? How could I not cry?" She almost shouts into the phone. "My girlfriend, who I have seen a total of three times in the past year, just told me that she's leaving the country for the entire summer. I had so much planned for us to do this summer, Spence." She sniffs and I'm sure she's wiping her tears away. "I've missed you more than ever."_

"_I know Ash, and I'm sorry. I really wish things could be different."_

"_Me too." Her crying stops. "Look I don't think this is working." What? _

"_Ash…what…" I can't even finish the sentence. My words are getting caught in my throat. This is not happening. This is not happening. _

"_Let's be honest here Spence, we never see each other and we never talk, what kind of relationship is that?"_

"_You don't mean that." I whisper out._

"_It's what's best." It sounds like she's been thinking about this for a while now._

"_But Ash, I love you."_

"_And I love you too, but sometimes love just isn't enough."_

_**End Flashback**_

"Wow" is Emily's response. "So that's it? No more Spashley?"

I down my third Margarita. I knew I would need alcohol to get me through that story. "Nope, that was the last of Spashley."

"And now she's getting married to Madison?"

"Yep."

"Crazy how things turn out."

"It definitely is."

**I hope you all liked the chapter. I'll try to update more often now that I'm on break. **

**Let me know what you think.**


	4. Chapter 4

**I know it's been a while but I finally updated and there will be more coming.**

**Thanks PIC and my amazing girlfriend for helping me!**

"So when are you going to call Tori?" I ask Emily as we walk through the door.

"I don't know" she shrugs "maybe tomorrow."

I stop right in my tracks and turn around to look at her. "_Maybe_ tomorrow?" I scoff. "All of that flirting to get her number and now you don't even know if you'll use it?"

"Yea, what's the big deal?" She questions as she drops her keys on the side table by the door.

"The big deal is that this is not like you." I move closer to her and put my hand on her shoulder. "Is everything okay? Did you need to talk about something?"

"No, look just forget about it. I'll call her tomorrow." She tries to side step me to get around but I block her.

"Emily, I'm not stupid, I know when something is up with you." She was pretty quiet on the ride home but she gets like that sometimes so I decided not to disturb her.

"Can we just not talk about it please?" She sighs. I can tell that something is bugging her but I'm not sure what it is. This time when she tries to get around me, I let her. She usually comes to talk to me when she's ready so I'll give her time.

I called it an early night after a nice long bath and headed to bed. This entire day was just a little too much for me.

**I got this feeling on a summer day when you were gone.**

**I crashed my car into the bridge. I watched, I let it burn.**

**I threw your shit into a bag and pushed it down the stairs.**

**I crashed my car into the bridge.**

**I don't care, I love it.**

**I don't care.**

The blaring music from my phone awoke me from the nightmare wedding that plagued my sleep.

"Hello?" I grumble into the phone without looking at the caller ID.

"Hey Spencer, did I wake you?" I hear someone say cheerfully into the phone. Who the hell is so cheerful at, I glance at my alarm clock, seven in the morning? I look at my phone and see that it is an unknown number.

"I'm sorry who is this?" I rub my eyes as they become adjusted to being open.

"Kyla of course!" And suddenly I'm not so tired. I sit up in my bed and rest my back against the headboard.

"Kyla?" How the hell did she get my number and why is she calling me?

"Yes silly. I hope you don't mind but Glen gave me your number." She says with a giggle.

"No" I clear my throat "I don't mind." I'm still confused as to why she needed my number. I haven't spoken to her in years. "Was there a particular reason why you decided to call so early?"

"Oh duh!" She says more to herself than to me. "I'm calling to see if you received the wedding invitation."

I almost forgot about that and now it's thrown in my face once again. What a great way to start my day!

"Oh yea, I uh, I got it yesterday." I stammer out.

"Great! So are you going to be able to make it?" I haven't even thought about going. "Please tell me you will be there." She pleads through the phone.

"I don't know yet. I'll have to check my schedule."

"Ok I'll wait." What? I didn't mean right now!

Nearly rolling out of bed, I make my way over to my desk which holds my planner.

"What's the date again?"

"June 25th" she replies sweetly.

Three weeks?! I only have three weeks' notice?

I notice that the entire week before the wedding I will be busy shooting, but I have the entire week after off for a mini vacation that I usually give the crew each month in between filming.

Damn I was hoping I would be busy that day. I am willing to do anything to avoid going to that wedding.

"Actually Kyla it looks like I have a dentist appointment that day. Sorry I won't be able to make it." A fucking dentist appointment? That's the best you could do Spencer?

"Is there any way you could reschedule it? I would really love it if you came. And I'm sure your family would be more than happy to see you."

"Yes I know but-"

"Oh come on Spencer! It's one lousy dentist appointment!" Why is it so hard for me to say no to people?

"I guess I can switch it to the week before." I sigh into the phone.

"Yay, it's going to be so great! Everyone is going to be so happy to see you. And I do mean everyone." What is that supposed to mean?

"We'll see about that." I glance at my clock again. "Hey, uh, I have to get ready for work now, but I guess I'll be seeing you soon." I just want to end this conversation.

"Okay. I can't wait to see you Spencer. It's been too long. Everyone has missed you." She whispers to someone and then says "So I guess I'll see you in three weeks. Bye Spence!"

And now it's just me and the dial tone.

Great. Now I have to go to this stupid wedding.

"Are you up yet, Lassie?" Emily says as she bursts through my bedroom door. I'm glad she's feeling somewhat better.

"Still with the Lassie shit?" I roll my eyes as I begin to get ready for the day.

"Oh you know you love my nicknames for you." She says with a bright smile as she makes herself comfortable on my bed. She has her own room and bed for a reason; I don't know why she's always in my room.

"Right, if you say so. Is there any particular reason why you're in my room?"

She doesn't answer right away and I notice that she's staring at my abs. I quickly put on the shirt I'm wearing for the day and snap my fingers in front of her face. "Hello?"

She shakes her head a bit. "Yea sorry about that. What was the question?"

"You're in my room, why?"

"Oh right, I just wanted to tell you that there's a ninety percent chance of rain today so you might want to get moving, Lassie." She replies with a smirk.

"Thanks for telling me. Are you riding with me or are you going to visit one of your little friends afterwards?" I use air quotes when I say "friends" because they are just her fuck buddies.

"I'll ride with you. I think I'm going to take a day off from the girls today."

"Shocker!" I gasp. She throws a pillow at me and I dodge it. "Now you can take yourself to work." I finish putting on my last shoe and head into my bathroom.

After freshening up, I make my way downstairs and grab a quick breakfast.

Emily wasn't in my room when I came out so I assumed she would be eating breakfast but she's nowhere to be seen. Suddenly I hear the front door slam shut. That bitch!

I run out the door and lock it behind me. I walk to my car and notice that Emily is already sitting in the passenger seat with the car on. This bitch!

I hop in on the driver's side and turn to her. "Remember how I said that you're taking yourself to work? Well I meant it." I playfully slap her arm.

"Yea yea ok, shut up and drive." The nerve of some people.

"Shouldn't you be driving since you know, you had the entire day off yesterday?" I ask as I pull out of the driveway.

"I know right?" She laughs.

"I should stop the car and make you walk." I threaten her, but she knows I wouldn't.

"No you won't, you love me too much." And she's right.

We finally make it to the location we are shooting at and the sun is still shining. We rush out of the car and head over to where everyone else is already waiting.

"And she has arrived!" Tom says once he sees me walk up.

"Enough with the pleasantries, let's get started." I look through my paperwork to see where we need to begin. "Ok so how about we get started with the scenes we left off with yesterday and then I want another crew shooting Emily's scene with Kate in the school." Everyone begins to move but we really need to get moving. "Let's go, move it people! We don't have all day!" I clap my hands at them.

"You know it's so hot when you're all bossy and in charge." Emily says to me with a smirk.

"Shouldn't you be heading over to the school?" I raise my eyebrow at her.

"Yea, yea I'm going." She turns and walks towards the school.

I send my assistant director over to the school while I stay and supervise the outside scenes since we have so many to catch up on.

After the long day of shooting, I am happy to have caught up on all of the scenes from yesterday while still being able to shoot the scenes from today.

It's now five o'clock and it's just starting to get cloudy and the winds are picking up. Since it's been a long day, I tell everyone to wrap it up and to be ready to shoot tomorrow if possible.

I walk over to my car and see Emily standing against it. The wind is blowing her hair in the most perfect way. I bite my lip as I scan her bronze legs and tight abs, then I shake my head. I cannot look at her like that.

"Are you okay?" She doesn't look the least bit concerned. Instead she has a slight smile on her face.

"Yup, just peachy." I give her a tight smile and open the car door.

"So what are we doing for dinner tonight?" She says once she gets situated in the car.

"I'm too exhausted today to cook so I might just finally eat those leftovers from the other night."

"It hasn't been that bad of a day."

"Oh it has, starting as soon as I woke up this morning."

"What happened when you woke up?" She turns to me with a really intrigued look on her face.

"Kyla called this morning to see if I was going to the wedding."

"Oh that sounds great. What did you say?"

"I told her that I had to check my schedule and she actually waited!" I exasperate. "I was actually considering not going at all."

"So you told her no, right?"

"No I told her I could make it."

"Why would you do that if you didn't want to go?!" Emily nearly yells at me. I turn to her as I stop at a red light.

"Kyla can be really persuasive. You'll see." I say with a sly smile.

She gives me a questioning look. "What do you mean 'I'll see?'?"

"You're coming with me to the wedding."

Cue the thunderstorms.

**Questions, comments, and concerns are all welcome!**


	5. Chapter 5

"I'm not going with you to that wedding." Emily repeats for the hundredth time as we walk through the door.

"Yes you are." I tell her again.

"Why is it so important for me to go with you to your ex's wedding?" She throws her hands up. "I don't even know why YOU'RE going!"

I make my way to the kitchen to take out the leftovers while Emily takes out some plates.

"You're going to go watch the person you call the love of your life marry your high school bully. In what world does that even make sense?" Emily continues.

I disperse the food onto the two plates and put one in the microwave. I continue moving around the kitchen as I blatantly ignore everything Emily is saying. She is right though. Why am I going to put myself through another heartbreak? Why am going to watch someone have what I so desperately want?

I put the other plate in the microwave and set up the dining table for dinner.

"Spencer, would you please just STOP!" She grabs my arm as I walk past her to get back to the kitchen.

"What Emily?" I throw my hands up. "What would you like me to say? Do you want me to say that I'm going because if I don't I'll just keep thinking 'What If' and 'What would have happened if I would have just stayed in LA?' Do you want me to say that I'm going because it will maybe help me finally move on?" I can feel the tears falling down my eyes.

"Spence…"

"No you were right. Why should I go see the love of my life get married to someone else? It doesn't seem like it would make sense, but it makes sense to me. I feel like I need to do this. I feel like maybe I will finally be able to stop leading girls on. I might finally be able to fall in love with someone else and not hold on to what I had with Ashley all those years ago." I take a deep breath and wipe the tears from my eyes. I really needed to get that off of my chest.

"I had no idea you felt that way. I'm sorry." Emily apologizes and rubs soothing circles on my back.

"No it's okay. You wouldn't have known, I'm not really much of a sharer."

"I've noticed" Emily mumbles. "But I still shouldn't have attacked you like that. I just don't want to see you get hurt again."

"I know and that's because you're a good friend, but I'll be okay." I tell her with a smile. "Let's eat dinner."

After dinner, Emily cleaned the dishes and we decided to watch a few movies and drink a few glasses of wine for a slow night. I wasn't really in the mood for anything else. I just wanted a calm and peaceful night.

"You know, I was really hoping they would become a couple at the end." I comment as we watched the last few scenes of _Miss Congeniality 2_.

"Who, Sandra Bullock and Regina King?" Emily asks.

"Yea I mean we see their relationship transform throughout the movie, I just think that would have been a better ending." I shrug and take a few sips of my wine.

"You just want everyone to be a lesbian." That's true.

"Well yea, but still."

Silence takes over and the movie continues.

"And what if they adopted little Patricia? That would have been the cherry topper on the lesbian cake!" I clap my hands.

Emily just shakes her head at me. I'm only speaking the truth.

"I want kids one day. I think they are so adorable." I refill my glass. I might have had too much to drink by now but I don't want to stop now.

"I'm not a fan of kids. I like them but I also like giving them back to their parents." Emily adds.

"So you don't want a little Emily?"

"As of now, no. Maybe in the future if I found the right person." She says looking into my eyes. I must have had too much wine because it's getting hot.

I avert my eyes to the end credits that are rolling on the television.

"So what are we watching now?" Emily sighs and gets up to put another movie in.

"How about we watch _Pitch Perfect _but we make it a little interesting?" She suggests and I just raise an eyebrow. "How about we drink every time 'aca' is used in front of a word, any time Cynthia Rose makes any lesbian comments, and any time Benji does a magic trick?"

I think about it for a few seconds before saying "Game on. First one to pass out does dishes for a week." We shake on it and she plays the movie.

We're only halfway through the movie and I can already feel my eyes dropping.

"Are you sure you're going to make it through the rest of the movie?" Emily teases as we take another drink.

"Oh yea, you're going down." I slur. There's no way I'm going to make it to the end of this movie.

I'm awoken by bright lights that are shining through my window. I open my eyes but quickly realize that's a bad idea and shut them. The pounding in my head grows from a dull ache and to a nearly intensified pain.

"mmm" I hear a moan come from my right side and feel a pair of arms tighten around my waist.

And suddenly that nauseous feeling that I knew was coming has finally arrived.

I sit up suddenly and look down to my right and see Emily's sleeping face and… naked body. What the fuck happened? Why is she naked? This is so bad.

"Em," I call out to her. She is knocked out. "Em, wake up!" I try again, this time while shaking her.

"What the hell, Spencer?" She opens her eyes and holds her head. "Why are you waking me up so early?"

"That's not important. What's important is what happened last night." I get up from the couch. My body aches from sleeping awkwardly with Emily on the couch.

"What are you talking about?" She scratches her head and sits up on the couch.

"I'm talking about the fact that we got so drunk last night and had sex." I state as I pace through the living room.

"And what's the problem with that? It's not like we haven't had sex before." She exclaims and I can tell she's getting a bit angry at this.

"The problem is that we haven't had sex since we were together in college and since we've moved in with each other we agreed that we wouldn't go down that route again."

"Well maybe I want to go down that route with you again." I look up at her in shock. "Spencer you can't deny that there is something between us."

"But…you know how I feel about things…and about Ashley." I whisper. "Why are you doing this?"

She sighs and looks directly at me. "I have wanted you for a long time now. I didn't think you wanted me again after what happened in college. I didn't take our relationship seriously because I knew that you were still in love with Ashley and I didn't want you to up and leave me if the opportunity ever came. But now that she is getting married and I was hoping that I finally had the chance to be with you again."

"Emily" I'm speechless. "I had no idea you felt that way."

"How could I not? You're gorgeous, funny, and intelligent." I blush at her words. "Besides, you can't deny the chemistry we have together." I smile thinking of all the fun we have. "I really want to give us another try but if you have no feelings for me at all, we can forget about all of this and just be friends."

I don't know what I want. I know that I want Ashley because I do remember what we had. But things could have changed over the years, she could have changed. I know that I have changed over the years and she most likely have as well. We just might not work anymore.

"I…I" Before I could finish, I'm interrupted by my ringing phone.

**I got this feeling on a summer day when you were gone.**

**I crashed my car into the bridge. I watched, I let it burn.**

**I threw your shit into a bag and pushed it down the stairs.**

**I crashed my car into the bridge.**

**I don't care, I love it.**

**I don't care.**

It's an unknown caller. I look at Emily who is pleading with me with her eyes.

"Just give me one second." I say to her and then answer my phone. "Hello?"

There is nothing but silence. This better not be a prank call.

"Hello?" I try again.

"Hey" This can't be. How did she…? Why? "Umm Spencer?" I'm knocked from my daze by her sweet sultry voice.

"Ashley?"

**Song used I Don't Care by Icona Pop**


End file.
